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Robo-Treetennas
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| Adventure Scientists |
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| Radiant Robo-Treetenna
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Adventure Scientists Monitor Bio-electrical Oddity
In the year 2000, our investigators noticed a very odd tree just east of Highway 80 near the Clipper Gap exit...
The branches on these bright green trees are all exactly perpendicular to their perfectly straight trunks. Field monitoring indicates that these trees are also strong sources of electro-magnetic radiation which seems to be killing nearby trees.
We have been unable to take samples because government agencies required installation of prison-like fences to "protect" the trees from "curious" sight-seers. The exact species of the tree has been difficult to identify because of the barrier and because these trees apparently never drop any needles or cones.
In the mean time, there have been at least five other reportedsightings in the "North Fork Polygon" area.
Robo-Treetenna Inventory
Here's the updated list of all known robo-trees in the North Fork Polygon area:
- Clipper Gap, east of I-80 next to Lake Theodore
- Applegate, east of I-80 next to a "loose slots" casino billboard
- Weimar, east of I-80 next to the Country Store on Paoli Lane
- Cool, east of Hwy 49 at Hwy 193
- Auburn, east of Hwy 49 at Luther Road
- Newcastle, east of I-80 at Newcastle Road
- Colfax, west of I-80 and 1.5 miles north of Cape Horn
They've also been seen in Granite Bay, Emigrant Gap,Hidden Valley, and Folsom.
Robo-Treetenna News
New! Another more haggard looking robo-tree has recently been observed in Applegate (JPG, 126 KB), just right of eastbound I-80 near a casino billboard. It appears to have mutated from a different species.
Newer! Trees adjacent to the Robo-treetenna in Clipper Gap were recently decapitated!! The tops of the three nearest trees have vanished! We previously documented that adjacent trees had already been damaged by the mysterious tree which now seems to be growing in strength and courage.
Newest! Another strange tree with metallic bark has been observed in Weimar between Hwy. 80 and the Weimar Country Store!
Newerest! Two more treetennas have been sighted along Highway 49 and Luther Road in Auburn and near Hwy 49 and Hwy 193 in Cool.
Newerestest! The Newcastle Robo-treeetenna was spotted while trying to hide in the smoke from a local forest fire.
Theories on the Origin of the Species
A famous Japanese scientist suggests that, if these trees are actually robots, they might have originated in a place known as the Uncanny Valley, which would help explain their unsettling appearance.
In any case, if these "things" are robots, then why were they designed to move so slowly?
If they're just mutant hybrids, then why do our investigators feel it's necessary to wear aluminum foil caps to protect their brains from electromagnetic radiation (which is emitted from the trees in the 800 megahertz to 1.8 gigahertz portion of the radio frequency)?
If they represent an evolutionary breakthrough, then how can they be impervious to record breaking temperatures?
And if they're government mind control towers disguised as trees, then why are we allowed... to... here... (--&--);
Auburn Robo-treetenna located near Hwy. 49 and Luther Road
More Pictures of Clipper Gap Treetenna
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| September 2000: Protective Fence | December 2002: Adjacent Trees Dying |
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